Tolerance - HeForShe.org

Let's start this off with some facts that not everyone knows about me. First off, while you may think I am the exemplar of a "true man", all joking aside, I actually grew up without a father figure. I was an only child raised by two women and instead of testosterone filled nights of football, I grew up spending nights with my mother and grandmother. We'd travel around to local cities and focus on the beauty of life or simply sit down to a nice movie. You know, amidst the crises filled nights of back and forth yelling between myself and them. Or the nights where I was "restricted" for being disrespectful. Or maybe the time when I decided to steal all of the jewelry and hide it in my bunk-bed as retaliation for some miniscule act that of course had no meaning.

The point of all of this is the fact that even though I grew up with two women as my role models, I wasn't raised a feminist. My grandmother grew up in a time where mysogyny and sexism was the norm, but she cared more for the little things in life. My mother was very passionate and open with me but never delved into theoretical debate. They never really were the kind of people to act out against societal problems. They were more focused on creating a happy life for me. They gave me the distance and respect any child deserves while disciplining me whenever necessary. Which if you read above, I expect, was quite often.

It wasn't until my early 20s that I really started to take note about the bigger picture of how society worked. I suppose it was simply due to my upbringing or perhaps some un-developed lobe in my brain.

As I grew into young adult-hood, the biggest lesson I learned was that intelligence and ignorance were not mutually exclusive. How easy it is to misunderstand another person and their plight; to commit confirmation bias when faced with disagreement.

In college, I was lucky enough to have professors who taught on the basis of disruption. It wasn't about sharing just one viewpoint and reinforcing facts. My lessons were filled with the antithesis of memorization. To my professors, facts themselves didn't exist. It allowed me to really start to question not only my surroundings, but myself; who I was internally and what I was to stand for.

Recently, the announcement of a UN based organization called HeForShe has motivated me to write this post. HeForShe is a movement for gender equality; a new age Seneca Falls. It's a movement that in itself is synonymous to the civil rights movement or the legalization of gay marriage. These movements might focus on different groups of people with different reasons for acknowledgement but they all focus on one simple humanistic trait, tolerance.

The movement is called HeforShe and claims to be a solidarity movement against all gender stereotypes and not just those we confine to women. Its main audience is men which I think is a great rhetorical strategy, but has the potential to be quite off-putting if not handled correctly.

Recently actress Emma Watson, a GoodWill Ambassador to the United Nations, gave a speech announcing her involvement with the organization. She vehemently stood in front of the leaders of the world and shared her stories of growing up in the eye of the media. How herself and her friends were confronted at an early age with societal stereotypes and how the adversity impacted their life choices.

Yet despite all of her great allusions to the problem at large it was the first sentence of her speech that really stood out to me. A problem that I have always whole-heartedly stood behind and that is the word feminism itself. The word "feminist" often encapsulates the pejorative terms applied to strong women such as: bossy, bitchy, or prudish. It has been construed to be an "other". By using it, you aren't standing as a 'normal' citizen' but as someone who is easily ignored as a fanatic. To me, part of the reason is because of the instant divide it causes. Feminism has taken on a connotation of "Us vs. Them" which is divisive for most men.

You may say, "Of course! It is the men who got us here!" and you wouldn't be incorrect, but fighting intolerance with intolerance is only going to bread more ignorance. The reason I am choosing to spotlight HeforShe is the same reason I thoroughly enjoyed our feminism in gaming episode of the EverCast Show. The movement may call for men to help make the change, but it doesn't focus on the principle of delegitimization. Instead, HeForShe looks to bring forth the decline of gender stereotypes. The truth is, more men are choosing to stay at home with the children. Modernized society and the need for less masculine labor has reduced the need for gender roles and men can often feel just as pressured as women to maintain a certain identity.

But still, let's be honest. Women still appropriate less income than men working the same jobs. (Goodley, 2014) They are still taunted by mass media to somehow make something of themselves while "knowing their place" (below). Take for instance John Oliver's recent coverage of the Miss America pageant who, believe it or not, is the largest single supplier of woman-only scholarships in this country. Oh and they barely give out any money while still judging women like they are slaves in the stocks that ready to be bought at auction.

If you somehow disagree with this movement, I don't know what to say. I wasn't born a feminist. I wasn't fooled into being one either as some critics might argue. I, for one, know that I want my fiancee, mother, grandmother, and, one day, my daughter to share equal experiences with men. I want my son to grow up in a world where he can be himself; not afraid of being bullied into a stereotype. Even bigger than that, I want humanity to be able to finally shed its primal instincts of territoriality. For how is society to evolve when we are stuck on issues like intolerance and misunderstanding? None one is perfect, but do yourself a favor and learn every day. Learn from everyone and reciprocate beliefs that can make this world a better place.

Please take the time out of your day to watch both Emma Watson's recent speech and the segment from the John Oliver's Last Week Lately show below. 

Until next time,
Chad